Saturday, August 30, 2014

Theatrical Reviews: As Above, So Below




I’ve had enough of these found footage films. The Blair Witch project came out a decade and a half ago, and it doesn’t really hold up. So why are we still riding the trend it started? I’m not a horror fan, so correct me if I don’t understand the horror community, but I can’t imagine that they are still excited about this genre.

That last Paranormal Activity was the most underwhelming in the series, and recent movies like The Conjuring and The Purge, which are decidedly not found footage, have become some of the most popular horror movies of all time. When are filmmakers going to get it through their skulls that people don’t buy the shtick anymore?

As Above so Below is a fairly cookie cutter entry in the genre, and I honestly don’t know what there is to say about it. It is exactly, almost shot for shot, the movie you think it’s going to be. It does nothing interesting, and all the best parts are in the trailers.

To be fair, the weird lore that they create to set up the film is actually pretty interesting. This would have worked much better as a lame Indiana Jones rip-off then a lame Blair Witch rip-off. the first two thirds of the thing are basically fueled by a mystical mcguffin, jut like every Indiana Jones movie ever.

As Above so Below doesn’t scare, it barely even entertains. I got through this picture the way I get through every boring horror picture: by pretending that I’m actually watching a sequel to The Cabin in the Woods, and that some villainous office workers are actually behind everything I’m watching.

Like I’ve already said, I’m not a horror buff. In order for a horror movie to impress me it has to do something that’s exceptionally different from other movies in its genre. But if you really like movies like this were a bunch of young people go into a supernatural thing, and die, then you’ll probably like this fine. It’s just not for me.

Also, be warned; the ending rips off Kung-Foo Panda. I’m not kidding.

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