Theatrical Reviews: Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

I don’t remember much about the first Paul Blart film; and I can only hope that I will eventually remember Paul Blart 2 with as much fondness.  It takes a special level of not giving a crap to make a movie like this.  The only intriguing part about the film is trying to figure out whose fault it is that it was made.

Are these people trying to be funny?  I’m not 100% sure.  I spent the majority of the films runtime with a steel-like un-amused look on my face that only faltered a couple of times.  I was incredibly unentertained

It’s kind of hard to explain how a movie this over the top and goofy can’t be funny just by virtue of its own ridiculousness.  Kevin James plays his part as hammy as one might want, and I’ve liked him in other films.  So why dosnt he come off as funny here?  There are several other decent actors attached to this film as well.  Neal McDonough, who has been in plenty of good movies, plays the villain; and doesn’t come off nearly as threatening or funny as he should.  What is turning these talented actors into obnoxious balls of cheese?

The answer, I have found, is in the script.  It is well known that a good actor is nothing without a good script; and this is doubly true when it comes to comedies.  The jokes in Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 are abhorrently bad.  They’re not even funny-bad, these jokes just aren’t funny.  Sure every once in a while you might giggle at the pure goofiness of it all; but that can only get you so far.

Part of the stories problem is that it barely has a plot.  These characters and their interactions are so thin that they’d collapse under the weight of a feather.  The only really funny side-plot is the romantic one between Blart and Daniella Alonso’s character.  The rest of the films is filled with corny jokes you will see, often literally, an hour away.

What it comes down to is that Blart is not an interesting or likable character; and there doesn’t seem to be anything Kevin James can do about the fact.  I don’t care about his relationship with his daughter, his dead mother or his raging obesity problem; things that should be taken seriously enough to give the movie necessary weight, but instead are taken so lightly that they might as well not exist.

I do not find the misery, hardships or triumphs of mister Blart entertaining in any way.  Worse then that; he isn’t very funny either.  Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 isn’t a particularly unpleasant film to watch; but it is a pointless film to watch.  The point of seeing a 90 minute kids flick is to enjoy yourself, but all Blart will do is waste your time.